things i've learned, realized, decided...

1. the only people who you need in your life are the ones who need you in theirs. so, be strong enough to walk away.

2. a girl is lost without her girlfriends. and i have some of the best =]

3. cherry limeade smoothies are the greatest things ever. EVER. i guarantee it...and i am a smoothie expert.

4. Sex & the City was fabulous, no matter what anyone else says. It was perfect.

5. Florida is spelled like the rapper Flo Rida. And now i'll never misspell it again =]

6. summer is for excessive sleeping. i'm taking full advantage...

7. i really really really want to learn how to play guitar. i need to be able to jam to relax.

8. gas prices suck. especially because my favorite thing to do is drive, late at night, listening to some chill music, clearing my head. can't do that at $4.25/gallon =(

9. i LOVE the cubs. (okay, so i always knew this...) but HELL YEA. they're rockin it this season. THIS is the cubbies that i know they can be =]

10. you know you work at jamba when you come home reeking of citrus and are covered in orange juice/sticky from sherbet...and you realize that the only thing you've put into your body that day is 2 smoothies and like 12 matcha shots because you were working for 11 hours =]

P.S. I Love You

I've always prided myself on being deeper than a stupid, shallow movie. I like the *great* movies which make you think about life and society and the bigger picture. You know, the award winners.

But, I am still an almost-20-year-old-girl. So I love romantic comedies. I can't help it. It's part of my programming. But I haven't seen a GREAT romantic comedy in a long long time.

I love Love Actually and could watch that movie over and over. But until tonight I hadn't found another movie like that. But my soulmate and best friend came over tonight and we watched P.S. I Love You.

Now, you can give me as much crap as you want about how you think it's a shitty movie because, well, you're so cultured and would never be caught dead liking a movie that would jeopardize your reputation that you've built up upon yourself...but I loved it.

I honestly cried...continuously...throughout the entire movie. I don't think I've ever cried like that because of a movie before. My throat hurt from crying so much and I was left with a giant pile of kleenex.


I know how cynical I am. I know how jaded I've become. I know that I continuously argue that love doesn't exist. There is no way it can. I've never seen it. I question daily if I ever truly felt it.

But the truth is (are you ready for this?) that I wish and hope and pray with every fiber of my being that true love...great love...is out there.

I know that this is a Hollywood movie. Stuff like this doesn't happen in real life. It's scripted and planned out and not real. But, I just want a taste of it. I want to experience someone who changes my life...for the better. I want to kiss someone and have it be the end of the world as they knew it.

But I'm not one to compromise. So, until someone comes and sweeps me off my feet, I'll go back to being a cynical non-believer...and live vicariously though watching P.S. I Love You excessively...

you just have to know where to look

lately i've felt like i'm completely devoid of any true friends.
but in reality, its just that the people i see the most often are the ones who disrespect me the most. and that's really unfortunate. i put my faith in the wrong people.

turns out, you just have to know where to look.

tonight, i got to hang out with some girlfriends who i havent gotten to see in FOREVER because we've all been so busy. it was fabulous. a great night. and they invited me out Friday night and told me that I have a place on their futon next year if I need it.

I guess I DO have some true girlfriends =]

and then, of course, there is my Lauren. I would be completely lost without that girl. The ONLY girlfriend that I still have since elementary school. its just really relieving to know I have her to come home to this summer.

and jb and i have started talking again. real talking. not fighting. i feel no jealousy. i feel no anger. we've finally moved past it all. and that's the best feeling in the world.


selvin - my baby boo. my facebook husband. he's always there to listen to me when im stressed or upset. he's dealt with my venting and complaining. i honestly would not have made it though this semeter without him. and i won't make it though next year without his couch =]

i maintain that you just have to know where to look. sometimes people (meaning...me) get so focused on the negative that it overshadows the positive. i have so many amazing friends. so many people who truly care about me and are there for me. i can't let the haters get me down.

i'm a very negative person

i've come to realize.
so, i'm gonna work on my positivity.

things that made me smile today:

1. Watched a movie in my Drama Lit class - Angels in America very interesting. Modern. AIDS. homosexuality. drug addiction. it's like RENT! minus the music.

2. Got out of my LAST EVER 2-hour Journalism class after 20 minutes

3. Hung out with my faux-husband for almost 2 hours =] ...meaning, i distracted him while he was working in the radio office. but its okay. because we have to make sacrifices to find time to see each other. so it made me super happy.

4. Advertising project is DONE. and turned in. and out of my hands. and it turned out better than i had expected...

5. Got out of my 1.25-hour Advertising class after 15 minutes. which meant that I worked for an hour longer. which means more money.

6. Free pizza and hanging out for an hour during rehearsal with joe and jess. which meant one less hour of rehearsing. and one more hour of hanging out and laughing.



there. see? i can like things too.
i'm ignoring the fact that my job pisses me off SO much. and that i had a 5 hour rehearsal tonight. and that i'm stressed for EVERYTHING that i need to finish by this weekend. eek!


but. finals and final projects are stressful. but soon, it will be summer. and i love summer. and i'll be home. and smiling.


peace

a non-exhaustive, unordered list of things that i currently hate and/or am annoyed with

...that's a long title.
anyway,


1. snow. when its practically april. where the hell is the warm weather?

2. people who walk rreeaallllyy slow. if i step on you when im walking to class, it's you're own damn fault.

3. cleaning my bathroom. on my ONLY free day. when i could be sleeping or going out.

4. disrespectful roommates. ...enough said. if you know me, you understand. and you've probably gotten an earful about it

5. my drama literature class. seriously. puts me to sleep. shouldnt we be discussing? rather than having you read it line-by-line and giving us a pointless plot outline of what we've already read?

6. my philosophy class.

7. no, scratch that. PHILOSOPHY in general. yes, that tree exists. i dont care how long you discuss it for. in the end, the tree exists. go hit your head against it multiple times if you don't believe me.

8. my schedule. this falls under the "annoyed with" category because i love being involved and i love theatre...but i'm SO tired. im doing too much and it's killing me.

9. selfish people who only think about themselves and their boyfriend. and who don't do anything productive with their life because they've already dropped a class so they're taking like 12 credits and working like 6 hours a week, but still can't manage to pick up after themselves, take the garbage out once in awhile, wash their damn dishes, or contribute in any way. also, the same selfish people who are disrespectful of other people because they're too busy being irresponsible with their lives. ....this is completely hypothetical.... =]

10. the new "people you might know" thing on facebook. it's just a new level of creepy...

YES. WE. CAN.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.
Yes we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.
Yes we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes we can.
It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.
Yes we can to justice and equality.
Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.
Yes we can heal this nation.
Yes we can repair this world.
Yes we can.
We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics...they will only grow louder and more dissonant.
We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.
But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.
Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a public school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea --Yes. We. Can.

"And where we are met with cynicism and doubt and fear and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of the American people in three simple words -- YES. WE. CAN." --Barack Obama

cynical and logical

i want to be single.
i mean, i enjoy being single.
and i don't want a boyfriend.

why?

because i've seen WAY too many people throw their lives away because of a relationship.

take example one:
girl is good student. girl works hard.
girl gets new boyfriend. new boyfriend sleeps in girls room EVERY night. girl starts getting about 2 hours of sleep every night.
girl doesn't start homework until well after midnight.
girl's grades slip.
girl fails out of college
[okay, so those last two aren't true...yet]
all because girl would rather spend all her time with new boyfriend.


therefore, new relationship...one that, in all honesty, probably wont last because, well, it's college...is going to compromise girl's ability to get good grades, graduate with honors, get a good job and have a successful life.

am i over-exaggerating? maybe.

but i throw myself into everything i do. i'm going to be incredibly successful in whatever i do, because i won't let myself be anything less.

and i'm definitely not about to let some random guy get in the way of that.


example two:
girl has long-term boyfriend.
boyfriend is kind of a jerk.
girl is too afraid to leave him, so she stays with him.
this hinders girl from enjoying college, making new friends, having great experiences.
all because boyfriend is sufficating her life.
girl dumps boyfriend.
girl is MUCH happier, has a lot more fun, and has her life back.
coincidence? i think not.


example three:
girl has long-term boyfriend.
girl spend ALL her time with long-term boyfriend.
[long-term boyfriend has no personality]
girl stops talking to best girl-friend because of boyfriend.
girl and boyfriend break up.
girl goes running back to best friend.
girl gets new boyfriend.
girl abandons best friend.


i WILL NOT be that.
ive seen wwaayy too many 2-week relationships come in the way of lifetime friendships.
whats more important?


last example:
boy meets girl.
girl is slutty.
girl is pretty.
boy dates girl because of sluttiness and prettieness.
girl is without intelligence or personality.
boy gives up lifelong friendship because of insecurities of dumb, boring, but slutty and pretty new girlfriend.



i think i've proved my point.
case closed.


also, when did it become acceptable for roommate #1's boyfriend to move into their room without consulting with roommate #2? now, roommate #2 may not care that boyfriend is over a lot, but when boyfriend has his own toothbrush here? *rolls eyes*

relationships disgust me.
i'm too cynical for my own good.